Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Pastor, why don't you take off your suit?

The title of this blog is a question I am asked probably once a week by a congregation member.  I'm often asked the same question at other times by people who think my dress should be more casual to attract an outside audience.  Honestly, I think the discussion of what a pastor should wear in the pulpit has been discussed with far too many words and for far too many years.  People can and do make a case on both sides of this issue, and I am not here to give another such critique of people who do or do not wear a suit, vestments, or robes.  

What I am here to do is answer the question that is so often asked of me.  "Pastor, why don't you take off your suit?"  People ask me this question for all sorts of reasons.  Most Sundays the question is asked because the person is concerned with my comfort.  They truly believe wearing a jacket and tie must be pure torture for me, and they are giving their permission for me to take off those "relics of the past."  Still others, as I have mentioned, come to me with this question for a myriad of others reasons that I will not go into here.

So, why do I wear a suit?  The suit to me is part of my personal liturgy.  The process of preparing my heart and mind for delivering a message from God each Sunday begins as I wake up.  When I begin that day, my mind is focused on what God has given me to say that week.  This is sometimes in detriment to the relationships around me.

An issue my wife and I had to deal with early on in our marriage is my lack of attention to how she looks on a Sunday morning.  I remember one Sunday we spent the entire afternoon in silence, and I had no idea why.  Finally, that evening I asked her what had been bothering her all day.  She replied that she had worn a new dress, makeup, and fixed her hair that day, and I had not mentioned how she looked.  Everyone else had, but I had neglected to tell my beautiful wife of her beauty that morning.  

At first, I was tempted to be angry because I could not believe she would hold me accountable for that.  Then I realized that she is not in my head on Sunday morning.  She didn't understand the focus I needed in the morning to prepare for the monumental task in from of me.  She hadn't worked for hours on a sermon that she was hoping would be preached from her mouth the way it had come into her heart.  So, I explained to her what my Sunday morning is like, and I assured her that if we didn't rush home into comfortable clothes I would have time to process things apart from the sermon.  That talk may have saved my marriage!

I write all of that to explain my state of mind as I prepare for service on Sunday mornings.  It is a contemplative time for me, and as I put on each part of my wardrobe for the morning I feel as if I am putting on my uniform.  For me, the process of getting dressed in the morning is part of my worship.  I have a task ahead of me that scripture tells us is of the utmost importance.  In fact, the Bible says those who teach will be held to a higher accountability.  For this reason, I take Sundays very seriously.

Also for this reason, I choose to dress differently when I am proclaiming God's word within the assembly of believers than when I am simply walking around town.  To me, I wear a suit to set myself apart in that moment.  During that sermon, I don't want the words to be mine.  I want the entire message to come from God.  For me, wearing a suit in that moment conveys a message that what I am saying is serious and not of my own making.  I wear my suit because it conveys a differentness in that moment when I am proclaiming God's message from His pulpit.

There is one final reason I wear my suit.  As was explained to me by an acquaintance of Jewish faith, the Kippah or yarmulke is worn on the head to remind the worshipper that there is someone above him so he does not get too self assured.  In much the same way, the Lord commands in Numbers 15:37-40 the wearing of Tzitzit or tassels:

The Lord said to Moses, “Speak to the people of Israel, and tell them to make tassels on the corners of their garments throughout their generations, and to put a cord of blue on the tassel of each corner. And it shall be a tassel for you to look at and remember all the commandments of the Lord, to do them, not to follow after your own heart and your own eyes, which you are inclined to whore after. So you shall remember and do all my commandments, and be holy to your God."

The purpose of the tzitzit according to scripture was a physical reminder to live the lifestyle God wants of the person (obey the commandments).  By wearing the tassels on their clothing, and later attaching these same tassels to a Tallit or prayer shawl, the worshipper would be reminded of the call of God upon their life at all times.  

This same thinking is my final reason for continuing to wear my suit.  Whenever I wear a suit in the pulpit, I feel different.  I have a physical reminder to me the words I say in those moments are not simply my own.  The clothing I choose to wear in the pulpit continually impresses upon me the fact that I am but a sinner saved by grace, entrusted with the message of God for his people in that place.  If I were to simply show up dressed as I always dress, I would have to endure the temptation of believing the acceptance or rejection of the message presented had something to do with me and my successes or my failures.  When someone laughed at something humorous, I would be tempted to take credit.  When someone was offended at a piece of the gospel and rejected the message, I would be tempted to feel that rejection as my own.  

Instead, I wear a suit because it keeps me constantly aware of my place in this world and of the calling that has been placed upon my life.  Wearing the suit keeps my feet on the ground and my heart in the Word.  The suit is not about status, rather it is about me walking faithfully in service to my God.  

So, will I take off my suit?  No, but you feel free to come and worship God however He is leading you.  Approach me, talk to me, encourage me, and love on me because beneath the suit is a person who must rely on God just as much as you everyday.  In the pulpit, I am a mouthpiece for God, but in the everyday I am just Troy. The suit does not make me Superman, but it prepares me for the work God has laid out for me.  It is my uniform, and I will wear it as long as God leads me to.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

11 days.....

11 days.....

It's not such a big number, but in my family it has huge significance.  In 11 days, everything changes.

11 days until we lose a bit of freedom.

11 days until we lose a bit of time.

11 days until everything changes.

In 11 days, my first born child begins preschool.  This day is a day his momma had dreaded for months.  On that day, we will dress our little man in his first day of school clothes, take a few pictures, and drop him off in the care of someone else for the majority of the day.  In a very real sense, we are losing something on that day.

It's 11 days that make me want to pack the car and drive off to somewhere unexpected.  11 days that make me want to fill them with everything we had planned to do that life kept us from doing.  Until this point in our lives, my little family has enjoyed a bit of freedom.  We could go whenever we needed or wanted.  We went everywhere together.  I was hardly ever on the road alone.  Now, that will change.

In 11 days, our schedule will be dictated by the school calendar.  Vacations will not be in the off season.  I will not have the luxury of going into the office late so he and I can lay in bed talking about whatever crazy thing is on his mind.  Gone are the days of watching wrestling together on Tuesday morning on Hulu.  Gone are the days of surprise middle of the week trips to the donut shop or Walmart, or Chuck E. Cheese, or anywhere else we deemed appropriate to go.  In so many ways, it seems we are losing a lot.

This isn't the first time we have struggled with this type of feelings.  19 months ago we experienced the exact same crisis of identity as the date for our second child to arrive approached.  On that day we would go from being the miracle family of 3 to a blossoming family of 4.  As we approached that date, we were both excited and apprehensive about the changes that would come.  We feared the changes that would come and mourned the life we were losing because we loved the family we were, but the blessings that have come with that second birth have wiped away all of those fears and taken away our mourning.

In that change, we watched as our little boy became a little man and a big brother who loves his sister fiercely.  We watched a dynamic grow between these two products of our love that I often sit and watch with amazement.  Yes, we lost something with the birth of that little girl, but we gained so much more.

As I think about these changes, my mind travels to that conversation Jesus had so many times with His disciples - the talk about what was to come.  I am specifically drawn to the conversation in John 16:5-7.  There Jesus says, "But now I am going away to Him who sent Me, and not one of you asks Me, ‘Where are You going?’ Yet, because I have spoken these things to you, sorrow has filled your heart. Nevertheless, I am telling you the truth. It is for your benefit that I go away, because if I don’t go away the Counselor will not come to you. If I go, I will send Him to you."  The disciples were looking at the biggest change they had ever experienced.

They had always known Jesus with them.  He was there, in their midst, teaching, laughing, loving, healing, and living.  They had been a part of his ministry and miracles.  If they didn't understand a teaching, they could just turn to him and ask what that meant.  Now, Jesus is saying he is going away, and things are going to change.  

I can only imagine their fear and dread as they thought about these words.  What would they do with Jesus gone?  How would they function?  How would His kingdom come about?  Most of all, how would they live without their friend, teacher, and master?

The truth is they were losing the physical presence of Jesus in their lives, but Jesus was assuring them they were gaining so much more.  With Jesus physically there, he was in one spot.  When the Spirit came, he was all places at all times.  The power Jesus showed and shared now was poured out upon those same disciples.  Their ministry and their relationship with each other and with Jesus was strengthened through this change.  What the disciples could only imagine as a bad thing was, in the end, the greatest blessing Jesus could ever give.  What they saw as a loss was really the greatest gain in history.

So it goes many times in our lives.  So it will go in 11 days.  Yes, we are losing a part of our life that we can never get back, but what we will gain can outweigh that which we lose.  We may lose time with the boy, but we gain one on one time with the girl.  We may lose the freedom to go whenever we like, but we can gain a better appreciation for the time we spend together.  There may be a thousand other things we think we are losing, but there are thousand more we are gaining.  11 days......

11 days until we feel the pride of a son who succeeds apart from us.

11 days until we see the joy in a child's eyes as he begins something he has longed for.

11 days until he begins to find himself more and more each day.

11 days until we begin to see blessings we never imagined.

11 days until I understand the disciples even more.

So, for the next 11 days I will try to look forward to the blessings to come rather than the losses I fear.  In the end, I know that Jesus loves me, and I know Jesus loves my son.  Better than that, he has promised that he will work through all things for the good of those who love Him.  Thank you, Jesus, for the changes that come in our lives that force us to lean into you.