Read this through before you get offended:
So, lately I have pondered the question/problem of teenage sexuality, especially as it pertains to teens of the female persuasion. I find myself conflicted on how to lead them to an understanding of the importance of modesty in their lives, as opposed to the society in which we live. I have been desperately trying to understand the need to wear the clothes many young ladies wear today. Most people write this need off to the celebrity culture we find ourselves engrossed in, but I do not think the issue is that simple.
I believe much of our problem is a disconnect in the way young people today see age. Young ladies of the age range of 13-17 simply do not see themselves as attraction material to people outside of their age group. Many have a feeling, "I am a child, and they are adults." They do not seem to understand that as the physical form matures, they can be seen as attractive by males from the ages of 9 to 99 and beyond. I believe this disconnect happens because of an evolution in our societal way of thinking.
Almost every culture has some age at which a child begins a transition into adulthood. The Jewish culture sees this age as 13. At this age, according to Jewish law, an individual becomes responsible for their own actions. The child, turning adult, celebrates this transition with the ritual of a Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah, respectively. With this celebration comes the understanding that a change is beginning, and in many circles, the young adults are soon to reach marriageable age. The Hispanic culture of Latin America also has a similar idea when a child reaches the age of 15. The quinceanera is the celebration of a girl's coming of age into young womanhood. In the parts of Latin culture I have been around, this celebration definitely came with an unspoken understanding that the young lady was now to be thinking of her future and her husband. Many Anglo Americans do not understand the very serious and deep relationships young Latina girls find themselves involved in because this is no longer a part of our culture.
Yes, I did say no longer. Over the past 45 years, our society has slowly redefined its definition of marriageable age, thus redefining the whole concept of childhood age. When my grandparents were growing up, it was not unheard of for a girl to be married at 14 or 15. 17 or 18 was definitely normal, so 16 year old girls looked at every relationship as if it could lead to marriage. Even in my parents' generation, 16 was a fairly normal age to get married at. Over the years, however, we have redefined the age at which a person should think of being married. 16 became the year of the car, and 18 was the "adult" age where you started looking to settle down. Then everyone started getting college degrees and 18 was the party/learning age and 24 became the settling down age. Now people want Masters degrees and many people are waiting until their early thirties to begin looking for their future spouse. With each shift, the idea of where childhood really ends and adulthood begins also changed.
I believe this is a big reason for the lack of awareness of sexuality in dress to many teen girls. When a girl realized she could get married at 16, it brought an awareness that men might find her attractive, not just boys her age. I believe we are forcing young women to see themselves as little girls, and their wardrobe reflects that thought! So, we see a rise in premarital sex, teen pregnancy, and everything else that goes with that. I AM NOT SUGGESTING we start pushing 16 year olds to marry. I am simply suggesting we must find ways to help teen girls understand they are no longer little girls, but young women. They are not just attracting boys their age with their outfits or antics, but they are attracting the attention of many older men they may not want to attract. We have to find a way to help them understand the way God created them, and to process the emotional and spiritual changes that have occurred or are occurring along with the physical changes they are experiencing. If they can understand this new aspect of who they are now and who they are created to be, I believe they can make more prepared and educated choices as to what future God has in store for them.
Modesty is simply not pushed in our society. Skimpy is popular. Our goal needs to be to bring modesty back into fashion so that men of every age will see our young ladies as future wives, mothers, current daughters and granddaughters, and always as creations of God rather than objects of lust. Pray earnestly for modesty to return to our society. Pray for ways you can help teens understand their new role in the world. Find ways to help raise the youth you come into contact with in your world.
