Thankful for Eternit

The last sermon in the series Thankful: The Essentials Every Believer Should Be Thankful For

Since our services were interrupted by the weather this morning, I decided to give my final "sermon" in our series here. I apologize if it seems stilted or not put together properly, but I do not use manuscripts so I am simply attempting to expand my notes into a form you can read.

I thought long and hard about what this series should wrap up with. What was the final thing we should be thankful for as a believer? Throughout this series we have examined our need to be thankful for Jesus' sacrifice (and we examined what He sacrificed) , Grace (and the amazing nature of this gift), and Provision (the payment provided for us on the cross). We live in a world in which all of these things can be taken for granted. Our society and the busyness it offers allow our minds and hearts to quickly forget the gifts given us by God.

I believe that was the point of this series, reminding us of what God has given to every believer. It is easy to be mindful during this part of the year of the material things we have. It’s easy to be thankful for family and friends. It's even easy to be thankful for food and shelter, but so much of what the believer has to be thankful for isn’t measured in physical terms. Many of these blessings are abstract thoughts and ideas. They are theological ideas people have debated for centuries and still come away unclear at times. 

So to finish the series I kept asking, "How do you finish being thankful?" That word finish kept ringing in my ears because for the believer, finish isn't final. Finish is something we may never truly experience. Believers have the promise of eternity.  

I think eternity is a great ending for this series because it is the one abstract thing that every believer has some understanding of thankfulness for. Even those individuals we would call backsliders, those believers who are walking the wrong path, understand the promise of eternity. For years, the promise of eternity is what the church has focused upon. Most people have this appreciation of the eternal aspect of being a believer, but I think sometimes our view of eternity and the characteristics of eternity are limited. So today I want to examine quickly 3 aspects of eternity the believer should be thankful for.

The first aspect of eternity believers should be thankful for is eternal love. Romans 8:38-39 reads, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
We live in a world that measures love by all of the wrong standards. We call things romantic that are selfish at best and sinful at their worst. Love is that we fall into and fall out of which means in the end we must end up pretty low. We find ourselves jaded and hurt, wondering why love continues to let us down. Love in our world is fickle, something that fades and goes away. There are many relationships in this world, many marriages, that end over the words, "I just don’t love you anymore." This is why it is so important to realize and be thankful for the eternal love of God to humanity.
We have discussed before several times the quality of God’s love. We know that it is unconditional. We understand it is spoken through action rather than words. We could describe God’s love from here until our death, but I think the most important characteristic of that love is it exists into eternity. Here in Romans Paul tells us that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Nothing, did you catch that? Nothing in this world or any other can separate us from the love of Jesus. The love offered to believers by God is one of complete faithfulness and presence in the lives of believers. God’s love is eternal; it does not end. It goes on and on and on. It is this love that provides the other things we have talked about in this series. His love doesn’t stop. You can’t run Him off. You can’t make Him not love you anymore. Try as you might, it will not succeed. In 1997, my dad was in an accident. My world fell apart and I blamed God. I did everything within my power to make God mad at me. I tried to run Him off! In the end, He came to me and offered again the gifts of grace and love. His love never failed me even as I purposefully failed Him. The most amazing thought to me is His love did not begin and it will not end. His love is truly eternal, without beginning or end. He loved you before you were born. He loved you when you weren’t even thought of. He loved you as He was orchestrating the processes inside of your mother to bring you into this world. God’s love has always existed and will always exist. This isn’t a feeling, not a warm emotion. His love is an undying and unwavering devotion no matter how badly we fail! His love is eternal.

The second aspect of eternity every believer should be thankful for is everlasting life. Notice I say everlasting rather than eternal. I do this to be exact. Something that is eternal has no beginning or end, but something everlasting just has no end. Our life from God is everlasting, but it isn't truly eternal. John 5:24 - “Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life."  I love this verse and the truth it contains. Simply put, our everlasting life as given by God is a present reality. Every time eternal life is mentioned in scripture it is a present possession. The scriptures always say, "have everlasting life," or, "has eternal life." This gift is never presented as, "Will have," or, "Going to have." Everlasting life is scripture is always a present belonging. Why is this important? If everlasting life is a present reality, it isn’t something we work for. We can’t lose our eternal life; it’s not possible! Once you have eternal life, you have it. It doesn’t go anywhere. You can’t be so good you get more everlasting life, you can’t be so bad you’ll get less. You can’t be kind of saved! It's like being pregnant, you either are or you aren’t. Think of it this way. You get sick with an illness, and your body produces antibodies based on elements of that disease. Technically you’re never rid of a disease completely. You’re symptom free, but there are always traces of that disease in your body in the antibodies that were created. That’s salvation! You may accept Jesus, your life changes, and then something happens and you fall away. You may be symptom free of salvation, but if your salvation was genuine, it isn’t gone!  We should be thankful for everlasting life because it is something we have now and not in the distant future. That should change how we live now!

The final aspect of eternity for us to be thankful for is our eternal home.  John 14 says, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going.”  This is one of my favorite funeral passages, but we sometimes read it wrong. Sometimes we get so caught up in the old language of mansions that we miss what the passage is really saying. The words are house and rooms. One house with many rooms. The promise of our eternal home is a promise of fellowship and dwelling together. Heaven won’t be lonely because we will be living together under our Father's roof as a family of believers. No more loneliness in a crowded room. No more feeling left out. In our eternal home, we will have perfect fellowship with one another. The passage here in John 14 also shows an individual's worth in the sight of God. He isn't just preparing a room; He is preparing my room, your room, or our room. Each individual is important enough to God to be prepared for. That is amazing! I believe the biggest aspect of our eternal home is also the one we miss the most. What makes this our home is not the beauty, our own rooms, or anything else material we may hear of. What makes this our home is the presence of God. For all the years of my life until she passed, mom was home. Wherever she lived, I considered to be my home place. This is also how it should be with God. What makes a place our own is not our name on the deed or the door, but who also lives there. Our eternal home is our home because God is there so why do we wish God wasn’t around sometimes? Why do we try to do things in secret? God is not someone to be run from or kept in the dark. God is the one who is what makes something home for us. Without His presence, we are visitors and foreigners wherever we stand. Seek the presence of God in all you do, and home will be wherever the faithful believer is.

In the end, believers should be thankful for eternity. Why? First, we serve a God who has eternal love for us. Second, through that love He has given us everlasting life. Finally, that everlasting life allows us to spend eternity in our eternal home that is secure and prepared for us in the presence of God. Blessings be upon you!

Lesson from a crying baby

The other night as we tried endlessly to get our son to sleep, I found myself thinking how dealing with this crying baby reminded me of certain things in church.  Basically, my thought was this, "Dealing with a sleepy crying baby is just like dealing with unhappy people in the church."  I told Carrie that thought when it occurred to me and she laughed at first.  Then she got this look on her face like "oh my gosh, you're right!"

Let me explain.  For the first week we were at home, nighttime went something like this:

• Get ready for bed
• Swaddle the baby
• put him in the bassinet
• Turn off the lights
• Hold your breath as you listen to make sure he's asleep
• Go to slee....Oops he's crying again
• Get up and hold the baby
• Check his diaper
• Swaddle him tighter
• Give pacifier
• Put in Bassinet
• Watch for movement or stirring
• There is none so get in bed
• Hold your breath as you listen to make sure he's asleep
• Go to slee....He's crying again!
• Get up
• Change his diaper
• Feed Him
• Burp Him
• Swaddle Him
• Put in Bassinet
• Turn off lights
• Get in  bed hoping to sleep this time
• Hold your breath as you listen to make sure he's asleep
• Go to slee....sigh...there he goes again!
• Wonder why you had this child in the first place
• (Now you do this pattern 7-8 more times)
• Give up
• Take baby to the living room where he can lay on your chest and sleep while you watch Netflix
• Spend your day the next day tired, defeated, and fearful of the coming night

The similarities of dealing with unhappy people and difficult situations in the church are obvious when you look.  For our purpose, difficult people, situations, and offenses will just be called "X".

Dealing with something difficult at church:

• Prepare for church
• Go into worship
• X happens
• Examine the situation to make sure you haven't done something to offend
• Take the necessary steps to resolve the situation
• Get things back to normal
• Prepare for church
• Go to wor.....X happens again
• Examine the situation to make sure you haven't offended
• Take the necessary steps to resolve the situation
• Get things back to normal
• Prepare for church
• Hold your breath while watching to make sure the situation has resolved itself
• Got to wor.....What?  X is happening again?  Can't I win?  Where are you God?
• Examine the situation to make sure you aren't the cause
• Take the necessary steps to resolve conflict
• Get things back as close to normal as possible
• Prepare for church hoping nothing will go wrong
• Hold your breath during the welcome while watching to make sure things are done
• Relax and begin to worshi.....What?  Not again!  X? is this for real?
• (repeat that same pattern for many months)
• Give in to demands and feel like you have given up a piece of your soul
• Spend the entire week dreading Sunday because X may happen

I know I have generalized this a lot.  The truth is X can be a person, a situation, or even an idea at times.  X is those things that cause this type of strife within the body.  Over the past week, I have learned something about dealing with these situations from having to deal with the crying baby.  There are steps we can take to ensure the situation is resolved and we do not grow to resent anyone or anything.  What are these steps?  Do they apply to me?  I think these steps apply to everyone clergy and layperson alike.  We all have situations or people we must deal with that make us feel this way.  The truths I have learned about getting a baby to bed work just as well for resolving church conflict. 

THE STEPS

1. Love - do everything we do out of love.  If I get up at night to deal with a crying baby that is depriving me of sleep because I am angry or frustrated, I will accomplish nothing.  The child will feel my emotion and continue to be upset.  If I however go to comfort a child with love knowing that he is created in the image of God and of me, the child feels safe and much can be accomplished.  The same goes for church conflict.  If we deal with situations out of frustration, defensiveness, or anger, we are working out of selfish motives and the other parties see that.  If instead we communicate our view from the love that flows from Christ to his creation, a multitude of sins may be covered.
2. Selflessness - put their needs in front of our own.  If the only reason I am dealing with baby is because he is messing up my needs, I act harshly, quickly, and incompletely thereby causing the cycle to continue.  If instead I care for baby because he needs me to, I take my time and make sure his needs of safety, comfort, and stability are met.  This makes for a sleepy, content baby.  In church conflict, I can either go in selfishly arguing for what it is I want or I can go in listening for what the needs of others around me are.  Caring for and meeting the needs of others goes farther in building bridges and destroying conflict that being right and having to fight for it.  As scripture tells us, "Esteem others as higher than yourself."
3. Patience - Sometimes it takes a baby longer to go to sleep than we would like, but hurrying him to that point just makes the process start all over.  Same with church conflict.  Sometimes conflict must simmer in order to resolve.  Sometimes forcing an issue to be resolved just allows room for it to start the process all over again later.
4. Flexibility - Sometimes we have to do something different.  For 6 nights Carrie and I tried the same thing over and over to get Shiloh to sleep.  Each night, it didn't work.  Last night we changed things, and those changes seem to have made all the difference.  Sometimes what someone needs is something different than what we are offering.  In church, flexibility is the key.  I am not saying we have flexibility in the message, but I am saying we have flexibility in how it is presented.  Last night I was eating a bowl of Golden Crisp cereal when all of a sudden it dawned on me they used to be called Super Golden Crisp.  The cereal hadn't changed, but the needs of their marketing had.  We must too be flexible in meeting the needs of others in church conflict.

Now, are these steps a be all end all for conflict?  No.  These are just general guidelines I picked up from dealing with a fussy baby.  The truth is these would be good for any conflict, inside or outside the church.  This just proves sometimes you can learn a lot from a baby.  After all, God did say a child would lead them.

Theological Consistency.....Letting our actions echo our beliefs

Let me start by saying this post will probably offend some of you.  This is not my intent, but I do realize offense is an unavoidable bi product of this post.  Why you may ask?  In the past month many of you have innocently said things to Carrie or I that can bring great offense if we let it.  These comments are simple and come from a loving place, but they get to the heart of a problem in many of our churches today.  Simply put, our comments and actions are not consistent with the theology we proclaim.

The easiest way to explain is simply to reveal the comment that has been made by so many people in the past month.  That comment: "How do like parenthood?" or "Is being parent what you thought it would be?"  or any other variation on that question.  It seems like for everyone in our lives, we have just now become parents because we have held Shiloh in our arms.  There seems to be this belief that the process of labor is what makes someone a parent.  This seeming belief goes right against a theology most of these same individuals claim to believe.

Most of our friends in the Evangelical circle hold to the belief that life begins at conception.  Carrie and I both hold to this belief.  We understand this concept more profoundly than most people.  Because we believe this, we know we have been parents for 10 years now.  The problem most of us have is that Carrie and I never had the chance to hold our first 2 children.  They were named. Beautiful names, Abigail Grace and Bethany Teresa.  They are loved just as much as Shiloh is loved.  Yes, we have parents for 10 years.  The difference is while other parents got to experience the joys and triumphs of birth, growth, and development, Carrie and I only got to experience the pain, heartache, and loneliness of loss.

In my eyes, that makes us parents even more than  many people who have lots of children.  It's easy getting all the good stuff.  It is devastating only having the bad, only experiencing loss.  Yes, we will experience different parts of parenthood now, but that does not mean we have just become parents.  Let me let you in on a little secret.  When you say things like those that have been said to us in the past month, it hurts.  It feels as if our first 2 children weren't important enough for us to be considered parents.  In some ways it feels as if their memory is being defiled.

I do not say these things to offend you or hurt you.  I want you to be informed.  I want to learn to begin to choose your words carefully when dealing with people.  Next time Mother's Day or Father's Day rolls around, remember those in your life who have children who didn't make it here.  Think before you speak to someone about parenthood, and ask yourself if your actions and words are consistent with the belief that you hold.  In times like these, our words can either heal or kill the spirit of a man or woman who is hurting.  If our theology is consistent with our actions, great healing can occur in those who have experienced great loss.

Please understand you have not offended us because we have grown from that place and realize your words come from a place of love, but do learn from what I have said because many couples have not reached that place.  Your words may be the difference between them finding solace in Jesus or loneliness in the world.

Since I have never said it out loud.  Abigail Grace and Bethany Teresa, Daddy loves and misses you. Tell Nanny and Poppy I love them and miss them too.

Sexy Purity?

This is the follow up to my blog post Modesty Revisited.  I know you may reading the title and thinking that sexy purity is an out and out oxymoron.  For that reason, I followed up the title with a question mark.  Is sexy purity even something that is possible?  Should we push for the idea of sexy purity?  I believe the answer is yes to both questions, but it will take some work to get there.

To begin, we must redefine terms to mean something other than what our culture declares.  What is the meaning of the word sexy?  Meriam-Webster gives two definitions of sexy, and I began to ask why.  When did sexy become a word that means more than one thing?  Is the word sexy an objective word?  Why was my first instinct to look in the dictionary to define the word sexy?  Don't I know what the word means?  I am 36 years old, happily married, and have a child.  Surely I know the meaning of the word sexy.  So, I threw out the meanings found in the dictionary and our culture for my own definition.

In the end, I believe sexy is a completely subjective idea that exists only in the mind of each individual.  In essence, each individual defines what sexy is.  What one person considers sexy, someone else may not.  Yes, there are some people who everyone will say is sexy, but there are those individuals who go against the flow and don't find those people sexy.  I read an article yesterday about a survey done of men and who their perfect woman is.  As expected, most men picked the bombshell type as their desire physically, but when the overall results were in, the girl next door with her personality and charm won out the best girlfriend ideal.  What does this tell us about sexy in our culture?

Obviously sexy must deal with certain aspects of who a person is.  Sexy must have something to do with attractiveness.  It must also have something to do with desire.  But must sexy always have something to do with sex?  That may be a stupid question.  You may be thinking, "Duh!  3/4 of the word is sex!"  But does sexy have to be about sex in the way our world has made it about sex?

In our world, sexy has come to be defined as that quality that makes you want to get naked with someone.  Sorry about the visual, but that is it.  In order to be seen that way, many members of the female persuasion have taken to showing as much nakedness as they can in order to arouse the curiosity of their intended suitor.  These same ladies partake in behavior that they believe will make them more appealing.  To put it in the words of one youth, "Sexy equals doable."  Why must it mean that?

In the end, I believe sexy has come to mean what it does due to a failure in our society.  When sex becomes something you do for fun with whoever you want without a commitment, sexy has no choice but to break down.  At this point, people cease to be people and become menu choices.  People begin to act like the world is one big buffet of people to try and cast aside if you don't like them.  This lack of commitment leads to a breakdown of relationships.  In that context sexy is going to be equated with that quality that gets me into bed with the person I desire to sleep with.

But what if sex were viewed at a higher level? What if sex was the expression of love it was meant to be in a life-long, committed, godly relationship?  What does sexy mean in those parameters?  I believe in that case sexy becomes the quality of an individual that would make them someone you could share your life with.  This isn't a definition of sex as purely carnal pleasure.  This is a definition of sex as that ultimate conduit of intimate communication.  That moment when two souls become one and the needs of each emotionally and physically are met.  That does not happen in a one night stand.  It doesn't happen in a teenage love affair.  It happens in those couples who work hard to be the completion of their partner in every aspect of life.  So what if we defined redefined sexy as the quality or qualities of an individual that make them a person you can share your life with?

All at once, sexy is not about sex because there are couples who cannot have intercourse for various reasons who share their lives and have true intimacy for decades.  I guarantee these couples would believe their spouse is sexy, but they would not be defining sexy as the world defines sexy.  Their definition may be one that says sexy is the quality that makes them complete me.

So why don't we now begin redefining sexy?  Why don't we take back the glorious gift of sexuality from our creator from those who have sought to mar it?  Why can't we start teaching those around us that sexy has nothing to do with lust, nakedness, or lewd behavior and everything to do with pure and godly qualities that make someone a good choice to spend our life with?  If we redefine sexy to mean the quality of an individual that would make them someone you could share your life with, how much more uplifting and inspiring is that to someone you call sexy.  All at once sexy goes from being a derogatory statement of non-personhood to the greatest statement of worth about a person.  I am not suggesting we start calling people sexy.  I am simply working to redefine this aspect of our personhood.

If sexy is defined in this way, you can have sexy purity.  The funny thing most guys don't tell girls is they want to have sex with you, but they want to marry a virgin.  I was youth minister for too long asking the questions during straight talk sessions, and I never once had a guy say I want to marry the girl who slept around.  Without fail, they all wanted a girl who had remained pure.  And if that is their true desire, there is nothing that can make a girl sexy (my new definition) more than purity.

So, while I may have rambled, I do believe sexy purity is possible.  In the next few posts, I hope to explore how those terms can be re-imagined in our churches and our society.  Basically, if we redefine sexy in this way, how does a person act and dress to be the individual of desire?

Near to the Heart of God

This week has been heartwrenching, but I have found some things about the heart of God I could not fully understand until becoming a father. Becoming a father in this way has made me think a lot about God's heart with his children.  The hardest thing about this week is constantly having to leave Shiloh behind.  Being apart from our child is a feeling that cannot be explained.

As I sat praying this week, I thought to myself this is how God must feel.  We become His children.  We are newborn's in the faith, and then we turn and walk away. We place a separation between ourselves and God and give him visiting hours and rules to follow in order to see us.  How heartbreaking that must be for God.  He wants nothing more to be with His child, yet we place ourselves in isolation from Him, only allowing Him to see us sometimes.

If I could be with Shiloh 24/7, I would.  God wants that.  He can do that.  Why then do we ask Him to leave?  The place of rest and comfort is in His arms.  We need to find our way back to a full time relationship with God,  a place near to the heart of God

Modesty Revisted - Reclaiming Godly Sexuality in a Fallen Culture

Yes, I have ranted about this before.  Many females today dress way too skimpy.  There is a fundamental lack of understanding when it comes to a godly view of sexuality.  My heart breaks when I see women and girls of all ages victimized without even knowing it is happening.  Churches and believers in general are failing at transforming the world, and they have begun to be transformed by the world.

I believe our focus has been wrongly placed when it comes to sexuality in Christian circles today.  Many are so focused on the lives of homosexual people they are missing the atrocities of heterosexual females, especially younger ones, that are happening right in front of their eyes.  Many are pointing their fingers at the Gay community and blaming them for the downfall of American culture all the while closing their eyes to the growing number of "prostitots" in their own homes and churches.  I'll explain the term later.

 Let me be clear up front that I do believe homosexuality is a sin, but I do not believe it is my place to judge anyone for what they are doing.  I don't condone such relationships, but I do not condemn those individuals either.  Let's look at this from a different direction.  I do not condone premarital sex, but I would not judge a youth or adult who has been caught engaging in such acts.  What I would do is love those individuals and try to lead by example and grace.  That's how Jesus did it in the Bible.  He never came down hard on anybody, but he was clear when something was a sin.

I write all of this to say I do not believe the homosexual agenda is our greatest threat in the world today.  There is a bigger threat to the morality of our society in the form of immodesty.  In the last 100 years, society has gone from the idea that the body is sacred, only for the one you marry, to the body as an art exhibit.  At the turn of the last century, bathing suits were just that, suits that covered a person from head to toe.  Slowly, sometimes more quickly, the swimsuit has "evolved" into material that doesn't even cover any part of the body.  Bodies have become something people show off rather than keep sacred.

I am not sure if the reason for this is a fundamental misunderstanding of how the male mind works or a true understanding of how it works.  Male minds are visual so by showing more you get more attention, but is it the right kind of attention?  I watched a talk one day where a guy quoted a study about the part of the brain that becomes active when a man views a scantily clad female.  In this speech, he claimed the part of the brain that reacts is the same part that reacts when you use a tool.  I have not been able to find this study, but as a man, it makes real sense.  A scantily clad woman is not someone I see as a "relationship prototype."  Stages of undress make someone an object rather than a person.

It's ironic one of the big feminist arguments about conservative Christian circles is women in those societies are treated as little more than property or objects, and they are forced to wear the modest covering apparel.  In some circles that could be true, but in a majority of these circles, women choose to dress this way and live the life they do out of a God given freedom.  They do not feel like property.  They do not feel enslaved.  On the contrary, they usually feel like princesses and queens because they have kept their femininity and are cherished by their husbands, father, and brothers.  The irony is those women fighting against these roles are urging the females of society to act and dress in such a way they become the objects, tools, and property they were seeking to avoid becoming.

Our problem is while the Christian community as a whole is crying against other things, the extreme feminist community is crying against us.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease!  We live in a world that has bought into the ideas presented in the media.  When girls and women in the "real world" dress and act like females in music videos, movies, television, and pornography, why are we dumbfounded ?  We aren't talking against it.  We just sit back and wonder "why their parents aren't doing their job."

I'll agree with that thought for a minute, but we have to stop making excuses for why we aren't transforming the world.  Their parents are only doing what the world has told them is appropriate and attractive.  Teens are only doing what their friends and media tell them is appropriate.  Children, they take their cues from everyone else!  Why are we letting the world dictate what is appropriate?

Last week was Vacation Bible School, and there was a night when the youth workers had to be given a talk.  Not all the workers dressed inappropriately, but a few did.  The Youth Director was so busy that night as VBS Director that she wasn't able to notice the things until they were pointed out to her.  So, I will let the secret out for any youth who may be reading this that wants to be mad at her.  I am the one who pointed it out and asked her to address it.  I am very proud of the way she did.  It takes courage to look at a young person and say dress appropriately or don't come.  But their is one thing about her speech I would change.   I do not fault the Youth Director for saying it because it's what we all say!  It's the saying everybody uses that I believe shows the fundamental flaw in our dealings with modesty and sexuality.   What is it?  "You are at church so you should dress appropriately."

Dressing appropriately is not just a church thing.  By saying that, we say to those around it is okay to dress immodestly everywhere but church.  Therein lies the problem.  It's not appropriate to be immodest anywhere!  The separation we have set up makes our lives messy and confusing.  In reality, if it's not appropriate to do in church, it's not appropriate to do anywhere!  That goes for anything, not just modesty.  The sacredness of your body is something that should be of importance everywhere we are.  And it should be stressed at an early age.  Many of you may have noticed the following post I posted on Facebook:

      What is wrong with people? Stumbling through Amazon Prime choices and watched a little Dance Moms.     These people are crazy! The pressure! Winning is the only thing?!? Not to mention 7 year old girls dressed like hookers! Way too much makeup, and all of the girls have head shots where they are posed like 30 year old centerfolds! Can little girls not be little girls, dress like little girls, do dances appropriate for little girls, and still show their talent? The videos of competitions before this show seem to do just that. Is this all made up for TV? Don't get me started on the moms.

 I was shocked as I watched that show.  It's where the term "prostitots" came from earlier.  A mom said it about how the girls in the 9-12 age division were being forced to dress.  Little girls that look like prostitutes! What made me really mad were the moms who didn't like it, but didn't stop it.  They let their child perform that way!.  A 9 year old must be guarded by her parents.  It is the parent's role in that situation to say no.  Yet, these things happen, and if you have been into the children's clothing section of any department store recently, you would know that it isn't just these crazy moms.  Thongs for little girls, pants with writing on the bottom, and belly baring shirts are all normal fare at Walmart and other places.  Until the public stands up against these things, we will see an increasing number of prostitots in our world.  Somehow churches have gotten away from guarding the lives of these little ones.  Let's put it this way: IT IS NEVER JUST AN OUTFIT!  When we take that attitude, we have taken the attitude of Adam and Eve in the garden.  The serpent said, "it's just a bite," and the doorway was opened to sin.  We have to protect the innocence of these little girls.

Of course it's not just little girls' clothing.  Have you noticed the clothing made for teenage girls today?  Jeans that have designs or are faded in strategic areas to draw attention are the trend.  Showing our bra or other private areas is the norm.  In fact, we have cultivated a society that calls it attractive.  Guys aren't immune.  Baggy pants, wifebeaters, or no shirt is just as immodest as the things girls wear today.  Modesty runs both ways.  In the Old Testament, instructions were given for special undergarments for the priests to wear to cover their nakedness and remain modest.  Then, God also gives instructions for the altar to be built in such a  way that not even the undergarments could be seen so they would not be ashamed!  Seeing their undergarments was the same as seeing them naked!  Guys, pull your pants up!

Of course, no discussion on this topic is complete without a talk on teenage desires.  *This part may have controversial language, so be warned.*  When I say the words teenage desires, people always go negative.  They start talking about how guys are just horny, and that girls just want to please guys, but that isn't the complete truth.  Yes, guys hormones are out of control and they have these feelings and lusts they do not understand at times.  Yes, many times girls give into guys requests because they are trying to keep them happy, but why?  I believe the desire of every teenager is the same.  It goes back to the garden again when God said, "It is not good for man to be alone."  Teenagers do not want to be alone.  They want relationships, they want love, and they want to be desirable.  Most teens do not set out to be promiscuous.  Most teens begin with that one relationship they believe will last forever.  In that relationship, they give away the most important gift they will ever have to give.  When that relationship fails because of society's standards, they find it easier the next time because it has already been given away.  Each time, they are looking for something they have not been taught how to find.  The desire of teenagers is not sex, it is intimacy, but we have failed to show them the difference and they are learning the wrong things from society.

Thus begins the cycle of victimization.  Females are victimized more than males is an unfortunate truth.  Many times, the victim does not know they are a victim.  A girl becomes a victim when a someone uses her for their purposes.  The little girl who is looked at in a lustful way by the man who sees her on the road has just become a victim.  The 6th grader who gives into sex because she really likes the 11th grader has just become a victim.  The teenage girl who sleeps with all of her boyfriends because that's what will keep them happy has just become a victim.  Any girl who becomes an object for someone else's pleasure has become a victim.  The only difference between these "real life" girls and the porn stars of internet fame in that capacity is the porn star made a conscious choice to become that object.

Yet, somewhere along the way we have normalized this.  We have told women, teens, and girls the goal is to get men to think this way about them.  We have raised up boys and men with wandering eyes and hearts.  We have sold our mothers, our daughters, our sisters, and our friends into virtual sexual slavery by raising up a generation who thinks this way.  We have made our bedrooms "seeker-sensitive" where we enter asking what we can get for our own pleasure rather than seeking the intimacy that comes from God.  We have created a society of female victims and a generation of males who are victimizers, each one unaware of what's happening!    What we have become is a "pornified" society that seeks only its own benefit, caring not for the individual it uses.  This is not the way it's supposed to be.  Ask anyone their greatest desire and it is intimacy.  We have traded true intimacy in our relationships with a cheap image of sex and lust!

At some point this must change if we are to be the change Jesus has called us to be.  We must begin raising up females who know who they are and whose they are.  We must raise up males who have the integrity and the fortitude to be MEN and not boys.  Men who will stand up for the protection of the ones God created to cure loneliness.  Men who will treasure the one completes them in the way God meant for them to, and we must raise up women who will accept this.

How?  Where do we start?  We have been free-falling for years into this culture of hedonism and decadence.  Isn't this order a little too big?  How can we reclaim godly sexuality in this fallen culture?  I know it will be difficult, but I believe there are five areas where we can start.

1) TEACH UNIQUENESS AND SACREDNESS

Somewhere along the way we have forgotten the idea that we are all unique and the gifts we are given are sacred.  Part of our problem as a society is that we have bought into the notion that everyone should look like everyone else.  There is a definition of beautiful out there that is not naturally attainable.  People strive for those goals and find themselves falling short.  The problem becomes that if everyone is meant to be the same, then no one is unique.  To put it bluntly, a woman is a woman is a woman.  If everybody is the same, what use is the idea of commitment?  Why should anything last beyond those butterflies and feelings of infatuation?  But each individual is unique, and it is okay to be different.  You can be taller or shorter, skinnier or thicker, have more curves or less curves, and all of those are fine.  God created you who you are, and there is no reason to think your uniqueness is not beautiful.  In fact, your uniqueness is what makes you beautiful and is what will move you from being a woman to THE WOMAN for some guy out there.  Your uniqueness is the fingerprint of God in your life!

Along with that, your uniqueness is tied to its own sacredness.  For something to be sacred, it is set apart and saved for certain times and places.  God has imprinted you with a uniqueness that aligns you with a future mate.  That uniqueness is sacred, and we should save that bond for that person.  That is where intimacy is found - in the God ordained union of two souls.  Sex is the demonstration of that union.  You cannot have that union outside of the will of God.  Your virginity, or for those who have already lost that, your sexuality is a sacred gift from God.  Keep it sacred.  Know its importance and value and hold firm to your integrity as you search for the one whose uniqueness completes yours.

2) TEACH RESPONSIBILITY

Ever since that sin in the garden, we have tried to pass the buck.  We must teach responsibility for our actions.  Guys must be responsible for their thoughts.  They need to understand what they are doing when they ogle that girl at the pool.  They need to understand how they victimizing these women, and they need to see by doing so they are giving other men permission to do such things to their moms, sisters, daughters, and friends.  They must learn to turn from temptation and walk in integrity.  Maybe most importantly they need to understand that their lust is theft of another man's sacredness, and they need to ask themselves if they are okay with someone else stealing their sacredness and that future intimacy with their wife.

Girls must take responsibility for how they dress.  They should know that they have a responsibility to their dads, brothers, sons, and friends to help them protect their minds and thoughts.  If they do not want to be seen negatively, then they must learn to respect their bodies with what they wear.  It is a woman's responsibility to dress her body in such a way to glorify God and keep her own integrity.

3) TEACH AWARENESS

The sad fact is most people are not aware of how their dress and actions affect those around them.  When a little girl or a teen dresses skimpy, she is not just drawing the attention of the guys her age.  A scantily clad young woman draws the attention of men much older, the ages of her father and grandfathers.  Not only that, we must teach people to be aware of when victimization occurs.  People must be told that it isn't, "okay to look as long as you don't touch."  Children and teens need to be taught the consequences on their future relationships their actions today cause.  If people are made aware of the consequences of their actions, their decisions can be better made.

4) RECLAIM THE DEFINITION OF SEXY

Why does sexy have to mean scantily clad?  Why can't sexy mean integrity, purity, and femininity?  In order to win this battle, we must reclaim and redefine what sexy means.  Enough of this now because this will receive its own post in the near future.

5) MAKE PURITY AS ATTRACTIVE AS IMPURITY

Again, I won't say much here because this will receive its own post, but until we can make purity as attractive an option as promiscuity and immodesty, we will not change anything.


We have to take a stand now before our daughters and their friends are lost.  Our culture says sexy is slutty and slutty is sexy.  Every girl from the ages of  5-25 is bombarded with this thought.  What if instead they were bombarded by the thoughts above?  What if they were told they were unique individuals created by God in unique ways to show the true beauty of His creation?  Sexuality is not a sin, but the way our culture paints it is.  We must reclaim godly sexuality in our fallen culture!

Lessons from VBS

As we hurry toward the end of our VBS this year, I find myself thinking of what adults can learn from this week directed completely at children.  What lessons are there contained within the week of VBS?  For me, I have learned 3 things from the practice of VBS this year:

1) JUST BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE SOMETHING DOES NOT MEAN IT ISN'T USEFUL

As we began the process of setting up and planning VBS this year, we found ourselves a little frustrated at the changes that had taken place in the VBS material.  First, the music this year was different from any year in the past 10-15 years.  For as far as I can remember, Jeff Slaughter has done the music for VBS at Lifeway.  This year he was gone and the instruction and songs seemed lacking to us.  We walked into the first day thinking man, I don't really like this music.  Then, when we went to decorate, we found the instructions complicated or not making as much sense.  We ordered the main stage poster, but in the decorating workbook, their example didn't use the poster.  We found ourselves pulling our hair out trying to make the church look like a theme park.  Finally, the super sampler pack did not include teaching tools this year so we were forced to wing it on our own.

All of these things made me begin the week thinking this is going to be bad.  I don't like this.  Now that we are wrapping up the week, I am seeing God's handiwork all around me.  Those songs that I couldn't stand on Monday are now things that I hum or whistle at random times of the day.  They have grown on me.  The confusing decorating guide forced us to use our creativity and slowly the church became a theme park.  The lack of teaching aids forced the teachers to go back to the Bible ensuring our students were learning the truth of God's word.  We didn't like this material when we started the week.  We found ourselves moaning about wanting to have what we used to have, but in the end we have seen that is useful for the purposes of God.

Just because we don't like something doesn't mean it's not useful.  So many times in churches adults are upset because we don't like something, but what if that thing we don't like is exactly what God wants to use for His glory in this place?  What if the thing we never give a chance is the key to the kingdom exploding in our towns?  We don't have to like something for God to use it.  Sometimes change isn't as bad as we make it out to be.  Sometimes doing something differently accomplishes more than the tried and true way.

2) CHALLENGES ARE FUN AND EXCITING AND CAUSE GROWTH

I think shocked everyone in attendance on Tuesday night when I issued a challenge to the students.  If they can have 70 students here by Friday night I will shave my head.  Bobbi, the Youth Director, added to the challenge that she would dye her hair purple.  The level of excitement in the room doubled or tripled immediately.  People have posted about it on Facebook, and the students have been inviting their friends.  They have a ways to go, but they are trying.  We have 63 enrolled, but only 55 attended last night.  There is a HUGE possibility I will be bald by 9pm on Friday, but that's okay.

This challenge causes growth.  Whether they succeed or fail, growth has occurred because of the challenge.  They have grown in numbers, but they have also grown in courage.  They have had to go out and invite people to church that they may not have invited otherwise.  The challenge has been fun and exciting and it has caused growth.

Adults should take our cue from this.  We need to challenge ourselves as individuals and as church bodies.  When we work toward a challenge, growth occurs whether or not we succeed.  Colossians 3:23 tells us, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not human masters."  Our success is not what is measured when it comes to challenges.  What is measured is how we work at it.  If we work at any challenge as if we are working for God, we will see growth.  We must stop looking at challenges as chores and see them as fun and exciting ways in which we can serve God and find growth.  Only when we challenge ourselves individually and as corporate bodies can we expect to see growth.  Our challenge is always the same - glorify God in our lives to the best of our ability.

3) THERE IS BEAUTY TO BE FOUND IN CHAOS

If I were to use 3 words to describe VBS they would be loud, crowded, and unruly.  That is VBS.  Lots of kids coming together to have fun and learn about Jesus!  To many people that is merely chaos.  Many don't like the noise.  But there is beauty to be found in the chaos.  In those voices is the hope of a generation.  In those voices are potential believers who can follow Jesus closely with the proper guidance.  When those kids begin to sing and dance, the world around them comes alive!  What may seem like chaos has much beauty if we just look.

What I hear in that sanctuary each night of VBS is what I imagine God hears every moment of every day.  The constant cacophony of prayer from every person in the world all at the same time.  For mortal ears it would sound as nonsense. but through that chaos God sees the individual.  Through that noise God hears the fervent heart of a broken spirit.

We live in a world of chaos.  Things always seem to be falling apart.  What we must do is learn to, like God, see the individual within the mess.  They may look different than us.  They may make different choices than we would make, but in their chaos, they are still an individual created in the image of Almighty God to be loved by Him and His people.  There is beauty to be found in chaos and that beauty is the individual created by God and placed in our lives for a time such as this.


VBS ISN'T JUST FOR KIDS

I think adults need to take a step back and see what we can learn in the sights and sounds of VBS.  The lessons found have eternal significance and can teach us how to live out our faith in a fallen world.  In the end, VBS isn't just for kids.

O God, Where art Thou?

What a strange few weeks it has been. I have sat many an hour pondering the events of these weeks, and the weeks to come, and the question that is the title to this post kept ringing in my ears.  In the past few weeks the world has watched as the plant in West, TX blew up.  We watched on as an abortion doctor was convicted of murder for killing babies after they were born.  We saw the devastation of the tornado as it ripped through the town of Moore, OK, and many of us held our breath waiting for survivors to be found.  Then, when the death toll was confirmed and the stories of that day came out, our hearts broke for families torn apart, parents without children.  

In the midst of this tragedy, there are many in this world who cried out asking, "Where are you God?"  When I was searching for my loved one, where were you?  When I found the devastating truth, why weren't you there?  Why, God?  Why did this happen?  Why am I experiencing this?  Where are you?

It is so easy to begin to believe that God could not have been there when these terrible events occurred. Surely a God of love could not stand by as these atrocities happened.  The logical conclusion seems to be that God had abandoned those situations or predetermined those situations in some way.  It would be so easy to begin to blame these things on our actions, our sinfulness as the cause of tragedy.  There are hate groups doing that.  The little Kansas terror cell that calls themselves Westboro Baptist Church.  They are not a church and they are at their core terrorists!  In their eyes, these things are the wrath of God poured out on humanity.  They are wrong!

The problem with their theory is God is not the business of causing His children to suffer.  According to Psalm 34:18, " God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  God did not cause the suffering of these tragic events.  He was not somewhere "out to lunch" when all of these things were happening.  In fact, if we hold to the promise of Psalm 34:18, we know exactly where God was during these events.  

When that plant exploded and lives were lost, God was there in the fire.  He was with the man who was running to safety but didn't make it.  He was with the daughter who waited for mom to come home, and is still waiting.  He was with those who lost someone and with a town who had to pickup and carry on.  He was with those precious babies as that man took their lives.  He was with the schoolchildren as their teachers tried to protect them during that monster storm.  He was with the teacher who broke protocol and prayed over her students.  He was with the parents who would never again see their children on earth.  He was with those who crossed over and those who were left behind.  God was with all of these people in their time of need.  He never left.  He never looked away.  He never gave up!  He walked with them, spoke to them, and welcomed some home.  God was there in the midst of the tragedy holding out hope to those who would trust Him.

That is our comfort.  Those of us looking on from afar and wondering why.  The comfort Jesus promised in John 16:33, "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."  For those of us who trust in Jesus, this life is not the end.  This world will throw many things at us, but Jesus has overcome every obstacle we will face.  We may face tribulation greater than anything we have seen these past few weeks, but Jesus has promised that we will overcome because He overcame.  Because of this promise, we can have peace.

Even in the midst of these greatest of tragedies, we can know that God is still on His throne.  Psalm 45 tells us His throne lasts forever.  There He is seated on it.  In the midst of tragedy, the world still turns.  During the hour that the tornado in Moore was on the ground, 24 lives were lost.  In that same hour, there were 450 babies born in the United States, 133,500 worldwide.  God is still on His throne.  The process of creation still moves forward.  Unfortunately, because of the fall, death is part of that creation.  

As Moore, OK begins to pick up and move forward, here in Rankin (and across the country) high school seniors are preparing to start their adult lives.  Something new looms on the horizon for them.  Their futures are bright, even as some people's futures have been taken from them.  Life goes on, and we must keep our eyes focused on the promises of God.  What better gift can we give both those young adults ready to set off in the world and the memory of those whose futures were snatched from them than the hope found in living a life for Jesus?  

If we are to honor the dead, we must advance the cause of the gospel.  If we are to prepare these students for their future, we must train them to take the gospel with them.  Yes, the question will remain "O God, Where art Thou?", but we will ask the question in terms of our proximity to God as we seek to trust in His promises and always walk close to Him. Only when we remain next to God in our daily life can we have peace when the world around us is crumbling.  Take heart, He has overcome the world!

My Own Little Piece of Heaven

I have always wondered what Heaven really looks like.  The Bible describes Heaven as a place of indescribable beauty.  In fact, the language used in scripture suggests there just aren't words to express what Heaven is like.  One thing is for certain, Heaven is perfect.

I would have never imagined Heaven to have a Southwestern/Desert climate.  I always imagined a lush green forest with abundant wildlife and maybe a little cabin, but here among the oilfields of West Texas I have found my own little piece of Heaven.  In this place I do not feel restless.  In this town I do not feel lacking.  In this church I truly feel loved and wanted in a way I could never have imagined.  Here, things are perfect.

Of course, many of you are already saying to yourselves, "You are still in the honeymoon period!"  Actually, I understand that.  I did not say there aren't problems.  I never claimed bumps in the road are not going to happen.  What I am stating is a satisfaction that goes deeper than temporary discomfort of worldly problems. The world will always throw trial and tribulation at you, but I have learned along the way that life is 2% what the world throws at you and 98% of how you take what is thrown.  James tells us in his epistle to "count it all joy when you face trials of many kinds."  Many times, we are called to make our own Heaven here on earth.

What makes this place Heaven over anything else is the abundant blessings of God that I see poured out all around me.  A love that seems to overflow.  A highly anticipated family addition.  An excitement I have not seen in a long while.  Of course, maybe this is all about me and the closeness I feel with God in this place, that communion with the Almighty that makes wherever you are perfect.

Are there things here I would change?  Yes.  Moving is expensive, and it never fails that after you move the first few months are very tight financially.  There are things I want I can't buy right now.  I want a couple of rocking chairs (one big one for me) to put on our patio and drink coffee in while I visit with God in the mornings.  I want a dependable vehicle for Carrie and the baby when he arrives.  I want a massage.  I want a new commentary set.  I want so many things that God has not given me the money to buy.  In spite of all my wants, I am satisfied with what I have.

As time moves along here in Rankin, trials and tests will come.  The new will wear off, and the real work will begin.  Through it all, there will remain a joy in soul that cannot be snatched away or shaken.  Through it all, I will continue to love on my church family and strive to bring the gospel of Jesus to the lost in this world.  Through it all, I will be satisfied, happy even, to live out my life here in my own little piece of Heaven.