This week has been heartwrenching, but I have found some things about the heart of God I could not fully understand until becoming a father. Becoming a father in this way has made me think a lot about God's heart with his children. The hardest thing about this week is constantly having to leave Shiloh behind. Being apart from our child is a feeling that cannot be explained.
As I sat praying this week, I thought to myself this is how God must feel. We become His children. We are newborn's in the faith, and then we turn and walk away. We place a separation between ourselves and God and give him visiting hours and rules to follow in order to see us. How heartbreaking that must be for God. He wants nothing more to be with His child, yet we place ourselves in isolation from Him, only allowing Him to see us sometimes.
If I could be with Shiloh 24/7, I would. God wants that. He can do that. Why then do we ask Him to leave? The place of rest and comfort is in His arms. We need to find our way back to a full time relationship with God, a place near to the heart of God
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Modesty Revisted - Reclaiming Godly Sexuality in a Fallen Culture
Yes, I have ranted about this before. Many females today dress way too skimpy. There is a fundamental lack of understanding when it comes to a godly view of sexuality. My heart breaks when I see women and girls of all ages victimized without even knowing it is happening. Churches and believers in general are failing at transforming the world, and they have begun to be transformed by the world.
I believe our focus has been wrongly placed when it comes to sexuality in Christian circles today. Many are so focused on the lives of homosexual people they are missing the atrocities of heterosexual females, especially younger ones, that are happening right in front of their eyes. Many are pointing their fingers at the Gay community and blaming them for the downfall of American culture all the while closing their eyes to the growing number of "prostitots" in their own homes and churches. I'll explain the term later.
Let me be clear up front that I do believe homosexuality is a sin, but I do not believe it is my place to judge anyone for what they are doing. I don't condone such relationships, but I do not condemn those individuals either. Let's look at this from a different direction. I do not condone premarital sex, but I would not judge a youth or adult who has been caught engaging in such acts. What I would do is love those individuals and try to lead by example and grace. That's how Jesus did it in the Bible. He never came down hard on anybody, but he was clear when something was a sin.
I write all of this to say I do not believe the homosexual agenda is our greatest threat in the world today. There is a bigger threat to the morality of our society in the form of immodesty. In the last 100 years, society has gone from the idea that the body is sacred, only for the one you marry, to the body as an art exhibit. At the turn of the last century, bathing suits were just that, suits that covered a person from head to toe. Slowly, sometimes more quickly, the swimsuit has "evolved" into material that doesn't even cover any part of the body. Bodies have become something people show off rather than keep sacred.
I am not sure if the reason for this is a fundamental misunderstanding of how the male mind works or a true understanding of how it works. Male minds are visual so by showing more you get more attention, but is it the right kind of attention? I watched a talk one day where a guy quoted a study about the part of the brain that becomes active when a man views a scantily clad female. In this speech, he claimed the part of the brain that reacts is the same part that reacts when you use a tool. I have not been able to find this study, but as a man, it makes real sense. A scantily clad woman is not someone I see as a "relationship prototype." Stages of undress make someone an object rather than a person.
It's ironic one of the big feminist arguments about conservative Christian circles is women in those societies are treated as little more than property or objects, and they are forced to wear the modest covering apparel. In some circles that could be true, but in a majority of these circles, women choose to dress this way and live the life they do out of a God given freedom. They do not feel like property. They do not feel enslaved. On the contrary, they usually feel like princesses and queens because they have kept their femininity and are cherished by their husbands, father, and brothers. The irony is those women fighting against these roles are urging the females of society to act and dress in such a way they become the objects, tools, and property they were seeking to avoid becoming.
Our problem is while the Christian community as a whole is crying against other things, the extreme feminist community is crying against us. The squeaky wheel gets the grease! We live in a world that has bought into the ideas presented in the media. When girls and women in the "real world" dress and act like females in music videos, movies, television, and pornography, why are we dumbfounded ? We aren't talking against it. We just sit back and wonder "why their parents aren't doing their job."
I'll agree with that thought for a minute, but we have to stop making excuses for why we aren't transforming the world. Their parents are only doing what the world has told them is appropriate and attractive. Teens are only doing what their friends and media tell them is appropriate. Children, they take their cues from everyone else! Why are we letting the world dictate what is appropriate?
Last week was Vacation Bible School, and there was a night when the youth workers had to be given a talk. Not all the workers dressed inappropriately, but a few did. The Youth Director was so busy that night as VBS Director that she wasn't able to notice the things until they were pointed out to her. So, I will let the secret out for any youth who may be reading this that wants to be mad at her. I am the one who pointed it out and asked her to address it. I am very proud of the way she did. It takes courage to look at a young person and say dress appropriately or don't come. But their is one thing about her speech I would change. I do not fault the Youth Director for saying it because it's what we all say! It's the saying everybody uses that I believe shows the fundamental flaw in our dealings with modesty and sexuality. What is it? "You are at church so you should dress appropriately."
Dressing appropriately is not just a church thing. By saying that, we say to those around it is okay to dress immodestly everywhere but church. Therein lies the problem. It's not appropriate to be immodest anywhere! The separation we have set up makes our lives messy and confusing. In reality, if it's not appropriate to do in church, it's not appropriate to do anywhere! That goes for anything, not just modesty. The sacredness of your body is something that should be of importance everywhere we are. And it should be stressed at an early age. Many of you may have noticed the following post I posted on Facebook:
What is wrong with people? Stumbling through Amazon Prime choices and watched a little Dance Moms. These people are crazy! The pressure! Winning is the only thing?!? Not to mention 7 year old girls dressed like hookers! Way too much makeup, and all of the girls have head shots where they are posed like 30 year old centerfolds! Can little girls not be little girls, dress like little girls, do dances appropriate for little girls, and still show their talent? The videos of competitions before this show seem to do just that. Is this all made up for TV? Don't get me started on the moms.
I was shocked as I watched that show. It's where the term "prostitots" came from earlier. A mom said it about how the girls in the 9-12 age division were being forced to dress. Little girls that look like prostitutes! What made me really mad were the moms who didn't like it, but didn't stop it. They let their child perform that way!. A 9 year old must be guarded by her parents. It is the parent's role in that situation to say no. Yet, these things happen, and if you have been into the children's clothing section of any department store recently, you would know that it isn't just these crazy moms. Thongs for little girls, pants with writing on the bottom, and belly baring shirts are all normal fare at Walmart and other places. Until the public stands up against these things, we will see an increasing number of prostitots in our world. Somehow churches have gotten away from guarding the lives of these little ones. Let's put it this way: IT IS NEVER JUST AN OUTFIT! When we take that attitude, we have taken the attitude of Adam and Eve in the garden. The serpent said, "it's just a bite," and the doorway was opened to sin. We have to protect the innocence of these little girls.
Of course it's not just little girls' clothing. Have you noticed the clothing made for teenage girls today? Jeans that have designs or are faded in strategic areas to draw attention are the trend. Showing our bra or other private areas is the norm. In fact, we have cultivated a society that calls it attractive. Guys aren't immune. Baggy pants, wifebeaters, or no shirt is just as immodest as the things girls wear today. Modesty runs both ways. In the Old Testament, instructions were given for special undergarments for the priests to wear to cover their nakedness and remain modest. Then, God also gives instructions for the altar to be built in such a way that not even the undergarments could be seen so they would not be ashamed! Seeing their undergarments was the same as seeing them naked! Guys, pull your pants up!
Of course, no discussion on this topic is complete without a talk on teenage desires. *This part may have controversial language, so be warned.* When I say the words teenage desires, people always go negative. They start talking about how guys are just horny, and that girls just want to please guys, but that isn't the complete truth. Yes, guys hormones are out of control and they have these feelings and lusts they do not understand at times. Yes, many times girls give into guys requests because they are trying to keep them happy, but why? I believe the desire of every teenager is the same. It goes back to the garden again when God said, "It is not good for man to be alone." Teenagers do not want to be alone. They want relationships, they want love, and they want to be desirable. Most teens do not set out to be promiscuous. Most teens begin with that one relationship they believe will last forever. In that relationship, they give away the most important gift they will ever have to give. When that relationship fails because of society's standards, they find it easier the next time because it has already been given away. Each time, they are looking for something they have not been taught how to find. The desire of teenagers is not sex, it is intimacy, but we have failed to show them the difference and they are learning the wrong things from society.
Thus begins the cycle of victimization. Females are victimized more than males is an unfortunate truth. Many times, the victim does not know they are a victim. A girl becomes a victim when a someone uses her for their purposes. The little girl who is looked at in a lustful way by the man who sees her on the road has just become a victim. The 6th grader who gives into sex because she really likes the 11th grader has just become a victim. The teenage girl who sleeps with all of her boyfriends because that's what will keep them happy has just become a victim. Any girl who becomes an object for someone else's pleasure has become a victim. The only difference between these "real life" girls and the porn stars of internet fame in that capacity is the porn star made a conscious choice to become that object.
Yet, somewhere along the way we have normalized this. We have told women, teens, and girls the goal is to get men to think this way about them. We have raised up boys and men with wandering eyes and hearts. We have sold our mothers, our daughters, our sisters, and our friends into virtual sexual slavery by raising up a generation who thinks this way. We have made our bedrooms "seeker-sensitive" where we enter asking what we can get for our own pleasure rather than seeking the intimacy that comes from God. We have created a society of female victims and a generation of males who are victimizers, each one unaware of what's happening! What we have become is a "pornified" society that seeks only its own benefit, caring not for the individual it uses. This is not the way it's supposed to be. Ask anyone their greatest desire and it is intimacy. We have traded true intimacy in our relationships with a cheap image of sex and lust!
At some point this must change if we are to be the change Jesus has called us to be. We must begin raising up females who know who they are and whose they are. We must raise up males who have the integrity and the fortitude to be MEN and not boys. Men who will stand up for the protection of the ones God created to cure loneliness. Men who will treasure the one completes them in the way God meant for them to, and we must raise up women who will accept this.
How? Where do we start? We have been free-falling for years into this culture of hedonism and decadence. Isn't this order a little too big? How can we reclaim godly sexuality in this fallen culture? I know it will be difficult, but I believe there are five areas where we can start.
1) TEACH UNIQUENESS AND SACREDNESS
Somewhere along the way we have forgotten the idea that we are all unique and the gifts we are given are sacred. Part of our problem as a society is that we have bought into the notion that everyone should look like everyone else. There is a definition of beautiful out there that is not naturally attainable. People strive for those goals and find themselves falling short. The problem becomes that if everyone is meant to be the same, then no one is unique. To put it bluntly, a woman is a woman is a woman. If everybody is the same, what use is the idea of commitment? Why should anything last beyond those butterflies and feelings of infatuation? But each individual is unique, and it is okay to be different. You can be taller or shorter, skinnier or thicker, have more curves or less curves, and all of those are fine. God created you who you are, and there is no reason to think your uniqueness is not beautiful. In fact, your uniqueness is what makes you beautiful and is what will move you from being a woman to THE WOMAN for some guy out there. Your uniqueness is the fingerprint of God in your life!
Along with that, your uniqueness is tied to its own sacredness. For something to be sacred, it is set apart and saved for certain times and places. God has imprinted you with a uniqueness that aligns you with a future mate. That uniqueness is sacred, and we should save that bond for that person. That is where intimacy is found - in the God ordained union of two souls. Sex is the demonstration of that union. You cannot have that union outside of the will of God. Your virginity, or for those who have already lost that, your sexuality is a sacred gift from God. Keep it sacred. Know its importance and value and hold firm to your integrity as you search for the one whose uniqueness completes yours.
2) TEACH RESPONSIBILITY
Ever since that sin in the garden, we have tried to pass the buck. We must teach responsibility for our actions. Guys must be responsible for their thoughts. They need to understand what they are doing when they ogle that girl at the pool. They need to understand how they victimizing these women, and they need to see by doing so they are giving other men permission to do such things to their moms, sisters, daughters, and friends. They must learn to turn from temptation and walk in integrity. Maybe most importantly they need to understand that their lust is theft of another man's sacredness, and they need to ask themselves if they are okay with someone else stealing their sacredness and that future intimacy with their wife.
Girls must take responsibility for how they dress. They should know that they have a responsibility to their dads, brothers, sons, and friends to help them protect their minds and thoughts. If they do not want to be seen negatively, then they must learn to respect their bodies with what they wear. It is a woman's responsibility to dress her body in such a way to glorify God and keep her own integrity.
3) TEACH AWARENESS
The sad fact is most people are not aware of how their dress and actions affect those around them. When a little girl or a teen dresses skimpy, she is not just drawing the attention of the guys her age. A scantily clad young woman draws the attention of men much older, the ages of her father and grandfathers. Not only that, we must teach people to be aware of when victimization occurs. People must be told that it isn't, "okay to look as long as you don't touch." Children and teens need to be taught the consequences on their future relationships their actions today cause. If people are made aware of the consequences of their actions, their decisions can be better made.
4) RECLAIM THE DEFINITION OF SEXY
Why does sexy have to mean scantily clad? Why can't sexy mean integrity, purity, and femininity? In order to win this battle, we must reclaim and redefine what sexy means. Enough of this now because this will receive its own post in the near future.
5) MAKE PURITY AS ATTRACTIVE AS IMPURITY
Again, I won't say much here because this will receive its own post, but until we can make purity as attractive an option as promiscuity and immodesty, we will not change anything.
We have to take a stand now before our daughters and their friends are lost. Our culture says sexy is slutty and slutty is sexy. Every girl from the ages of 5-25 is bombarded with this thought. What if instead they were bombarded by the thoughts above? What if they were told they were unique individuals created by God in unique ways to show the true beauty of His creation? Sexuality is not a sin, but the way our culture paints it is. We must reclaim godly sexuality in our fallen culture!
I believe our focus has been wrongly placed when it comes to sexuality in Christian circles today. Many are so focused on the lives of homosexual people they are missing the atrocities of heterosexual females, especially younger ones, that are happening right in front of their eyes. Many are pointing their fingers at the Gay community and blaming them for the downfall of American culture all the while closing their eyes to the growing number of "prostitots" in their own homes and churches. I'll explain the term later.
Let me be clear up front that I do believe homosexuality is a sin, but I do not believe it is my place to judge anyone for what they are doing. I don't condone such relationships, but I do not condemn those individuals either. Let's look at this from a different direction. I do not condone premarital sex, but I would not judge a youth or adult who has been caught engaging in such acts. What I would do is love those individuals and try to lead by example and grace. That's how Jesus did it in the Bible. He never came down hard on anybody, but he was clear when something was a sin.
I write all of this to say I do not believe the homosexual agenda is our greatest threat in the world today. There is a bigger threat to the morality of our society in the form of immodesty. In the last 100 years, society has gone from the idea that the body is sacred, only for the one you marry, to the body as an art exhibit. At the turn of the last century, bathing suits were just that, suits that covered a person from head to toe. Slowly, sometimes more quickly, the swimsuit has "evolved" into material that doesn't even cover any part of the body. Bodies have become something people show off rather than keep sacred.
I am not sure if the reason for this is a fundamental misunderstanding of how the male mind works or a true understanding of how it works. Male minds are visual so by showing more you get more attention, but is it the right kind of attention? I watched a talk one day where a guy quoted a study about the part of the brain that becomes active when a man views a scantily clad female. In this speech, he claimed the part of the brain that reacts is the same part that reacts when you use a tool. I have not been able to find this study, but as a man, it makes real sense. A scantily clad woman is not someone I see as a "relationship prototype." Stages of undress make someone an object rather than a person.
It's ironic one of the big feminist arguments about conservative Christian circles is women in those societies are treated as little more than property or objects, and they are forced to wear the modest covering apparel. In some circles that could be true, but in a majority of these circles, women choose to dress this way and live the life they do out of a God given freedom. They do not feel like property. They do not feel enslaved. On the contrary, they usually feel like princesses and queens because they have kept their femininity and are cherished by their husbands, father, and brothers. The irony is those women fighting against these roles are urging the females of society to act and dress in such a way they become the objects, tools, and property they were seeking to avoid becoming.
Our problem is while the Christian community as a whole is crying against other things, the extreme feminist community is crying against us. The squeaky wheel gets the grease! We live in a world that has bought into the ideas presented in the media. When girls and women in the "real world" dress and act like females in music videos, movies, television, and pornography, why are we dumbfounded ? We aren't talking against it. We just sit back and wonder "why their parents aren't doing their job."
I'll agree with that thought for a minute, but we have to stop making excuses for why we aren't transforming the world. Their parents are only doing what the world has told them is appropriate and attractive. Teens are only doing what their friends and media tell them is appropriate. Children, they take their cues from everyone else! Why are we letting the world dictate what is appropriate?
Last week was Vacation Bible School, and there was a night when the youth workers had to be given a talk. Not all the workers dressed inappropriately, but a few did. The Youth Director was so busy that night as VBS Director that she wasn't able to notice the things until they were pointed out to her. So, I will let the secret out for any youth who may be reading this that wants to be mad at her. I am the one who pointed it out and asked her to address it. I am very proud of the way she did. It takes courage to look at a young person and say dress appropriately or don't come. But their is one thing about her speech I would change. I do not fault the Youth Director for saying it because it's what we all say! It's the saying everybody uses that I believe shows the fundamental flaw in our dealings with modesty and sexuality. What is it? "You are at church so you should dress appropriately."
Dressing appropriately is not just a church thing. By saying that, we say to those around it is okay to dress immodestly everywhere but church. Therein lies the problem. It's not appropriate to be immodest anywhere! The separation we have set up makes our lives messy and confusing. In reality, if it's not appropriate to do in church, it's not appropriate to do anywhere! That goes for anything, not just modesty. The sacredness of your body is something that should be of importance everywhere we are. And it should be stressed at an early age. Many of you may have noticed the following post I posted on Facebook:
What is wrong with people? Stumbling through Amazon Prime choices and watched a little Dance Moms. These people are crazy! The pressure! Winning is the only thing?!? Not to mention 7 year old girls dressed like hookers! Way too much makeup, and all of the girls have head shots where they are posed like 30 year old centerfolds! Can little girls not be little girls, dress like little girls, do dances appropriate for little girls, and still show their talent? The videos of competitions before this show seem to do just that. Is this all made up for TV? Don't get me started on the moms.
I was shocked as I watched that show. It's where the term "prostitots" came from earlier. A mom said it about how the girls in the 9-12 age division were being forced to dress. Little girls that look like prostitutes! What made me really mad were the moms who didn't like it, but didn't stop it. They let their child perform that way!. A 9 year old must be guarded by her parents. It is the parent's role in that situation to say no. Yet, these things happen, and if you have been into the children's clothing section of any department store recently, you would know that it isn't just these crazy moms. Thongs for little girls, pants with writing on the bottom, and belly baring shirts are all normal fare at Walmart and other places. Until the public stands up against these things, we will see an increasing number of prostitots in our world. Somehow churches have gotten away from guarding the lives of these little ones. Let's put it this way: IT IS NEVER JUST AN OUTFIT! When we take that attitude, we have taken the attitude of Adam and Eve in the garden. The serpent said, "it's just a bite," and the doorway was opened to sin. We have to protect the innocence of these little girls.
Of course it's not just little girls' clothing. Have you noticed the clothing made for teenage girls today? Jeans that have designs or are faded in strategic areas to draw attention are the trend. Showing our bra or other private areas is the norm. In fact, we have cultivated a society that calls it attractive. Guys aren't immune. Baggy pants, wifebeaters, or no shirt is just as immodest as the things girls wear today. Modesty runs both ways. In the Old Testament, instructions were given for special undergarments for the priests to wear to cover their nakedness and remain modest. Then, God also gives instructions for the altar to be built in such a way that not even the undergarments could be seen so they would not be ashamed! Seeing their undergarments was the same as seeing them naked! Guys, pull your pants up!
Of course, no discussion on this topic is complete without a talk on teenage desires. *This part may have controversial language, so be warned.* When I say the words teenage desires, people always go negative. They start talking about how guys are just horny, and that girls just want to please guys, but that isn't the complete truth. Yes, guys hormones are out of control and they have these feelings and lusts they do not understand at times. Yes, many times girls give into guys requests because they are trying to keep them happy, but why? I believe the desire of every teenager is the same. It goes back to the garden again when God said, "It is not good for man to be alone." Teenagers do not want to be alone. They want relationships, they want love, and they want to be desirable. Most teens do not set out to be promiscuous. Most teens begin with that one relationship they believe will last forever. In that relationship, they give away the most important gift they will ever have to give. When that relationship fails because of society's standards, they find it easier the next time because it has already been given away. Each time, they are looking for something they have not been taught how to find. The desire of teenagers is not sex, it is intimacy, but we have failed to show them the difference and they are learning the wrong things from society.
Thus begins the cycle of victimization. Females are victimized more than males is an unfortunate truth. Many times, the victim does not know they are a victim. A girl becomes a victim when a someone uses her for their purposes. The little girl who is looked at in a lustful way by the man who sees her on the road has just become a victim. The 6th grader who gives into sex because she really likes the 11th grader has just become a victim. The teenage girl who sleeps with all of her boyfriends because that's what will keep them happy has just become a victim. Any girl who becomes an object for someone else's pleasure has become a victim. The only difference between these "real life" girls and the porn stars of internet fame in that capacity is the porn star made a conscious choice to become that object.
Yet, somewhere along the way we have normalized this. We have told women, teens, and girls the goal is to get men to think this way about them. We have raised up boys and men with wandering eyes and hearts. We have sold our mothers, our daughters, our sisters, and our friends into virtual sexual slavery by raising up a generation who thinks this way. We have made our bedrooms "seeker-sensitive" where we enter asking what we can get for our own pleasure rather than seeking the intimacy that comes from God. We have created a society of female victims and a generation of males who are victimizers, each one unaware of what's happening! What we have become is a "pornified" society that seeks only its own benefit, caring not for the individual it uses. This is not the way it's supposed to be. Ask anyone their greatest desire and it is intimacy. We have traded true intimacy in our relationships with a cheap image of sex and lust!
At some point this must change if we are to be the change Jesus has called us to be. We must begin raising up females who know who they are and whose they are. We must raise up males who have the integrity and the fortitude to be MEN and not boys. Men who will stand up for the protection of the ones God created to cure loneliness. Men who will treasure the one completes them in the way God meant for them to, and we must raise up women who will accept this.
How? Where do we start? We have been free-falling for years into this culture of hedonism and decadence. Isn't this order a little too big? How can we reclaim godly sexuality in this fallen culture? I know it will be difficult, but I believe there are five areas where we can start.
1) TEACH UNIQUENESS AND SACREDNESS
Somewhere along the way we have forgotten the idea that we are all unique and the gifts we are given are sacred. Part of our problem as a society is that we have bought into the notion that everyone should look like everyone else. There is a definition of beautiful out there that is not naturally attainable. People strive for those goals and find themselves falling short. The problem becomes that if everyone is meant to be the same, then no one is unique. To put it bluntly, a woman is a woman is a woman. If everybody is the same, what use is the idea of commitment? Why should anything last beyond those butterflies and feelings of infatuation? But each individual is unique, and it is okay to be different. You can be taller or shorter, skinnier or thicker, have more curves or less curves, and all of those are fine. God created you who you are, and there is no reason to think your uniqueness is not beautiful. In fact, your uniqueness is what makes you beautiful and is what will move you from being a woman to THE WOMAN for some guy out there. Your uniqueness is the fingerprint of God in your life!
Along with that, your uniqueness is tied to its own sacredness. For something to be sacred, it is set apart and saved for certain times and places. God has imprinted you with a uniqueness that aligns you with a future mate. That uniqueness is sacred, and we should save that bond for that person. That is where intimacy is found - in the God ordained union of two souls. Sex is the demonstration of that union. You cannot have that union outside of the will of God. Your virginity, or for those who have already lost that, your sexuality is a sacred gift from God. Keep it sacred. Know its importance and value and hold firm to your integrity as you search for the one whose uniqueness completes yours.
2) TEACH RESPONSIBILITY
Ever since that sin in the garden, we have tried to pass the buck. We must teach responsibility for our actions. Guys must be responsible for their thoughts. They need to understand what they are doing when they ogle that girl at the pool. They need to understand how they victimizing these women, and they need to see by doing so they are giving other men permission to do such things to their moms, sisters, daughters, and friends. They must learn to turn from temptation and walk in integrity. Maybe most importantly they need to understand that their lust is theft of another man's sacredness, and they need to ask themselves if they are okay with someone else stealing their sacredness and that future intimacy with their wife.
Girls must take responsibility for how they dress. They should know that they have a responsibility to their dads, brothers, sons, and friends to help them protect their minds and thoughts. If they do not want to be seen negatively, then they must learn to respect their bodies with what they wear. It is a woman's responsibility to dress her body in such a way to glorify God and keep her own integrity.
3) TEACH AWARENESS
The sad fact is most people are not aware of how their dress and actions affect those around them. When a little girl or a teen dresses skimpy, she is not just drawing the attention of the guys her age. A scantily clad young woman draws the attention of men much older, the ages of her father and grandfathers. Not only that, we must teach people to be aware of when victimization occurs. People must be told that it isn't, "okay to look as long as you don't touch." Children and teens need to be taught the consequences on their future relationships their actions today cause. If people are made aware of the consequences of their actions, their decisions can be better made.
4) RECLAIM THE DEFINITION OF SEXY
Why does sexy have to mean scantily clad? Why can't sexy mean integrity, purity, and femininity? In order to win this battle, we must reclaim and redefine what sexy means. Enough of this now because this will receive its own post in the near future.
5) MAKE PURITY AS ATTRACTIVE AS IMPURITY
Again, I won't say much here because this will receive its own post, but until we can make purity as attractive an option as promiscuity and immodesty, we will not change anything.
We have to take a stand now before our daughters and their friends are lost. Our culture says sexy is slutty and slutty is sexy. Every girl from the ages of 5-25 is bombarded with this thought. What if instead they were bombarded by the thoughts above? What if they were told they were unique individuals created by God in unique ways to show the true beauty of His creation? Sexuality is not a sin, but the way our culture paints it is. We must reclaim godly sexuality in our fallen culture!
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Lessons from VBS
As we hurry toward the end of our VBS this year, I find myself thinking of what adults can learn from this week directed completely at children. What lessons are there contained within the week of VBS? For me, I have learned 3 things from the practice of VBS this year:
1) JUST BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE SOMETHING DOES NOT MEAN IT ISN'T USEFUL
As we began the process of setting up and planning VBS this year, we found ourselves a little frustrated at the changes that had taken place in the VBS material. First, the music this year was different from any year in the past 10-15 years. For as far as I can remember, Jeff Slaughter has done the music for VBS at Lifeway. This year he was gone and the instruction and songs seemed lacking to us. We walked into the first day thinking man, I don't really like this music. Then, when we went to decorate, we found the instructions complicated or not making as much sense. We ordered the main stage poster, but in the decorating workbook, their example didn't use the poster. We found ourselves pulling our hair out trying to make the church look like a theme park. Finally, the super sampler pack did not include teaching tools this year so we were forced to wing it on our own.
All of these things made me begin the week thinking this is going to be bad. I don't like this. Now that we are wrapping up the week, I am seeing God's handiwork all around me. Those songs that I couldn't stand on Monday are now things that I hum or whistle at random times of the day. They have grown on me. The confusing decorating guide forced us to use our creativity and slowly the church became a theme park. The lack of teaching aids forced the teachers to go back to the Bible ensuring our students were learning the truth of God's word. We didn't like this material when we started the week. We found ourselves moaning about wanting to have what we used to have, but in the end we have seen that is useful for the purposes of God.
Just because we don't like something doesn't mean it's not useful. So many times in churches adults are upset because we don't like something, but what if that thing we don't like is exactly what God wants to use for His glory in this place? What if the thing we never give a chance is the key to the kingdom exploding in our towns? We don't have to like something for God to use it. Sometimes change isn't as bad as we make it out to be. Sometimes doing something differently accomplishes more than the tried and true way.
2) CHALLENGES ARE FUN AND EXCITING AND CAUSE GROWTH
I think shocked everyone in attendance on Tuesday night when I issued a challenge to the students. If they can have 70 students here by Friday night I will shave my head. Bobbi, the Youth Director, added to the challenge that she would dye her hair purple. The level of excitement in the room doubled or tripled immediately. People have posted about it on Facebook, and the students have been inviting their friends. They have a ways to go, but they are trying. We have 63 enrolled, but only 55 attended last night. There is a HUGE possibility I will be bald by 9pm on Friday, but that's okay.
This challenge causes growth. Whether they succeed or fail, growth has occurred because of the challenge. They have grown in numbers, but they have also grown in courage. They have had to go out and invite people to church that they may not have invited otherwise. The challenge has been fun and exciting and it has caused growth.
Adults should take our cue from this. We need to challenge ourselves as individuals and as church bodies. When we work toward a challenge, growth occurs whether or not we succeed. Colossians 3:23 tells us, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not human masters." Our success is not what is measured when it comes to challenges. What is measured is how we work at it. If we work at any challenge as if we are working for God, we will see growth. We must stop looking at challenges as chores and see them as fun and exciting ways in which we can serve God and find growth. Only when we challenge ourselves individually and as corporate bodies can we expect to see growth. Our challenge is always the same - glorify God in our lives to the best of our ability.
3) THERE IS BEAUTY TO BE FOUND IN CHAOS
If I were to use 3 words to describe VBS they would be loud, crowded, and unruly. That is VBS. Lots of kids coming together to have fun and learn about Jesus! To many people that is merely chaos. Many don't like the noise. But there is beauty to be found in the chaos. In those voices is the hope of a generation. In those voices are potential believers who can follow Jesus closely with the proper guidance. When those kids begin to sing and dance, the world around them comes alive! What may seem like chaos has much beauty if we just look.
What I hear in that sanctuary each night of VBS is what I imagine God hears every moment of every day. The constant cacophony of prayer from every person in the world all at the same time. For mortal ears it would sound as nonsense. but through that chaos God sees the individual. Through that noise God hears the fervent heart of a broken spirit.
We live in a world of chaos. Things always seem to be falling apart. What we must do is learn to, like God, see the individual within the mess. They may look different than us. They may make different choices than we would make, but in their chaos, they are still an individual created in the image of Almighty God to be loved by Him and His people. There is beauty to be found in chaos and that beauty is the individual created by God and placed in our lives for a time such as this.
VBS ISN'T JUST FOR KIDS
I think adults need to take a step back and see what we can learn in the sights and sounds of VBS. The lessons found have eternal significance and can teach us how to live out our faith in a fallen world. In the end, VBS isn't just for kids.
1) JUST BECAUSE WE DON'T LIKE SOMETHING DOES NOT MEAN IT ISN'T USEFUL
As we began the process of setting up and planning VBS this year, we found ourselves a little frustrated at the changes that had taken place in the VBS material. First, the music this year was different from any year in the past 10-15 years. For as far as I can remember, Jeff Slaughter has done the music for VBS at Lifeway. This year he was gone and the instruction and songs seemed lacking to us. We walked into the first day thinking man, I don't really like this music. Then, when we went to decorate, we found the instructions complicated or not making as much sense. We ordered the main stage poster, but in the decorating workbook, their example didn't use the poster. We found ourselves pulling our hair out trying to make the church look like a theme park. Finally, the super sampler pack did not include teaching tools this year so we were forced to wing it on our own.
All of these things made me begin the week thinking this is going to be bad. I don't like this. Now that we are wrapping up the week, I am seeing God's handiwork all around me. Those songs that I couldn't stand on Monday are now things that I hum or whistle at random times of the day. They have grown on me. The confusing decorating guide forced us to use our creativity and slowly the church became a theme park. The lack of teaching aids forced the teachers to go back to the Bible ensuring our students were learning the truth of God's word. We didn't like this material when we started the week. We found ourselves moaning about wanting to have what we used to have, but in the end we have seen that is useful for the purposes of God.
Just because we don't like something doesn't mean it's not useful. So many times in churches adults are upset because we don't like something, but what if that thing we don't like is exactly what God wants to use for His glory in this place? What if the thing we never give a chance is the key to the kingdom exploding in our towns? We don't have to like something for God to use it. Sometimes change isn't as bad as we make it out to be. Sometimes doing something differently accomplishes more than the tried and true way.
2) CHALLENGES ARE FUN AND EXCITING AND CAUSE GROWTH
I think shocked everyone in attendance on Tuesday night when I issued a challenge to the students. If they can have 70 students here by Friday night I will shave my head. Bobbi, the Youth Director, added to the challenge that she would dye her hair purple. The level of excitement in the room doubled or tripled immediately. People have posted about it on Facebook, and the students have been inviting their friends. They have a ways to go, but they are trying. We have 63 enrolled, but only 55 attended last night. There is a HUGE possibility I will be bald by 9pm on Friday, but that's okay.
This challenge causes growth. Whether they succeed or fail, growth has occurred because of the challenge. They have grown in numbers, but they have also grown in courage. They have had to go out and invite people to church that they may not have invited otherwise. The challenge has been fun and exciting and it has caused growth.
Adults should take our cue from this. We need to challenge ourselves as individuals and as church bodies. When we work toward a challenge, growth occurs whether or not we succeed. Colossians 3:23 tells us, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not human masters." Our success is not what is measured when it comes to challenges. What is measured is how we work at it. If we work at any challenge as if we are working for God, we will see growth. We must stop looking at challenges as chores and see them as fun and exciting ways in which we can serve God and find growth. Only when we challenge ourselves individually and as corporate bodies can we expect to see growth. Our challenge is always the same - glorify God in our lives to the best of our ability.
3) THERE IS BEAUTY TO BE FOUND IN CHAOS
If I were to use 3 words to describe VBS they would be loud, crowded, and unruly. That is VBS. Lots of kids coming together to have fun and learn about Jesus! To many people that is merely chaos. Many don't like the noise. But there is beauty to be found in the chaos. In those voices is the hope of a generation. In those voices are potential believers who can follow Jesus closely with the proper guidance. When those kids begin to sing and dance, the world around them comes alive! What may seem like chaos has much beauty if we just look.
What I hear in that sanctuary each night of VBS is what I imagine God hears every moment of every day. The constant cacophony of prayer from every person in the world all at the same time. For mortal ears it would sound as nonsense. but through that chaos God sees the individual. Through that noise God hears the fervent heart of a broken spirit.
We live in a world of chaos. Things always seem to be falling apart. What we must do is learn to, like God, see the individual within the mess. They may look different than us. They may make different choices than we would make, but in their chaos, they are still an individual created in the image of Almighty God to be loved by Him and His people. There is beauty to be found in chaos and that beauty is the individual created by God and placed in our lives for a time such as this.
VBS ISN'T JUST FOR KIDS
I think adults need to take a step back and see what we can learn in the sights and sounds of VBS. The lessons found have eternal significance and can teach us how to live out our faith in a fallen world. In the end, VBS isn't just for kids.
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